My memory on this may be skewed but this moment will literally forever be embedded in my mind; it’s what changed life as we knew it at that time.
Eighteen years ago and a world of pain later. While everyone involved was affected by this, my brother got the short end of the stick and for whatever reason, I can’t help but continue to feel guilty and beat myself up for it, simply because I’m the oldest sibling and I should have been able to protect my siblings. My story isn’t just mine to share; it’s what all of my siblings and parents suffered through and while we all went through the same thing, some of us came out worse than the other.
“Stop! Dad, stop!” The day dad found out mom was unhappy in their marriage is when it all started. I won’t get into much detail about this because like I said, this story isn’t just mine to share. Anyway, dad was hurt. Mad. Confused. Infuriated. Mom was holding my youngest brother at the time, I believe he was about just a year or two, and she was cradling him to shush him from crying. Dad wanted to hold him, I assume to feel some sort of familiarity after just receiving that crushing news that mom had found love in the arms of someone else.
He meant no harm by it, I’m sure. As mom turned around to go inside, dad reached for Bubba to grab him out of my mom’s arms. She refused to let go and eventually started tug-of-war which ultimately led them to accidently drop my brother on the cement. I had never heard a child cry in way that caused him to initially lose his breath, and it is something you’ll never forget. I thought he was going to die, and when you hear him finally scream, a wave of relief washes over you.
We ran; my sisters and I ran to the neighbor’s house, bawling. You’d think someone was just murdered right before our eyes; to us that’s what it felt like. life as we knew it was ending, and at the age(s) we were, that is literally the worst news you could ever hear. Your worst nightmare just became real life.
That’s not the end. In fact, this is just the beginning.
